I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Life is so much better after having sex.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
