Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
