She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
