***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
