She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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