:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
