I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
