Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize