I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
