weddingsv make me drug and hornr
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
