So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
