Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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