One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
