Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
