hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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