I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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