Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
i drank out of a bidet.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
