so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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