1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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