They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
These tits shall not be calmed
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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