the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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