Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
