I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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