D3 body, D1 cock
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize