I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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