and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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