I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
