we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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