Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
