How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
