in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize