whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
