is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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