Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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