go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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