There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this will be a night to untag.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
