If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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