I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
