i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i need some magic done to my vagina
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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