took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
