is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
this boner is exhausting
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Boobs speak an international language.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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