I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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