Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
