I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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