we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
