wrigley field is MILF paradise
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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