No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize