they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
