Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
