Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
