dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
