oh god the rape fog is back!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
