That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Two words: nipple clamps
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