Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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